


A Step Closer To You

by peachyjwoos (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:28:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25159999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/peachyjwoos
Summary: It was 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019 when Jaehyun was one step away from his soulmate. It was 2020 when he took a step closer
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Jungwoo, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 3
Kudos: 73





	A Step Closer To You

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning // mentions of past issues and excessive use of the word soulmate
> 
> Enjoyyy <3

_What's a soulmate?_

They say it was a best friend but more, they say it's that someone who knows you better than anyone else and some times even knows you better than yourself, They said it's that someone who makes you want to be the better you 

_It was 2016,_ When Jaehyun thought he'd found his soulmate, nervous to be on stage for the first time but Taeyong held his hand tightly, reassuring smile always present on the leader's face.

For the whole time, the older had never left his side, from where he first said his greetings as a member of a new unit under the brand NCT, from when he first greeted the fans on stage, interacting with them, smiling with them, from when Jaehyun's exhausted from hours of nonstop dance practices or when Jaehyun first step in the recording studio, scared that he might mess up his part 

The older had been there to always reassure him that he's doing great, that he's not failing like how he is thinking he does, and he'll not disappoint the fans like his mind is telling him 

Jaehyun had always thought that Taeyong is his soulmate, but the thing is soulmates are supposed to be loving in each other, soulmates are supposed to be imagining the rest of your life with them, being married, even having kids, taking care of each other as you both grow older, loving each other for the rest of their lives, and you are supposed to be scared to lose your soulmate because you'll feel a different kind of pain, a pain that no medicine can cure, a pain that even the smartest doctor can't solve, It's that unbearable and unexplainable pain that'll eat you up for the rest of your life 

And Jaehyun thought he felt that but no matter how hard he tries to tell himself that Taeyong is his soulmate, his best friend but more, Jaehyun doesn't see himself spending the rest of his life with him, he doesn't see himself in from of the church saying his vow to the older and having him by his side forever 

_It's 2017,_ When Taeyong found his soulmate and it's the same year when Jaehyun confirmed that Taeyong's not his soulmate

Jaehyun felt happiness bloomed inside him when he saw Taeyong and Doyoung together, he can't help the sudden surge of happiness that washes over him when he found out that Taeyong is indeed not his soulmate, does Jaehyun felt guilty he felt that way? No, because deep inside Jaehyun can also feel that despite the older being by his side, the older himself can't also imagine spending his life with Jaehyun

And Taeyong's eyes doesn't sparkle with Jaehyun the way it sparkles with Doyoung, and Jaehyun had never done some things that Doyoung is doing for the older and that's what makes a guilt pass by Jaehyun, that despite the older being always there for him he doesn't do quite the same for the older and that's what makes him thankful for Doyoung for doing the things he can't to Taeyong 

Because even though they're not meant to be, Taeyong holds a special place in him 

But of course, at some point, Jaehyun can't help but feel jealous. Johnny had first found his soulmate when Taeil entered the company, choosing to pursue his career over university when Jaehyun heard the oldest's story he can't help but think back to his decision before having the same exact dilemma on choosing between your study or choosing your career with one of the largest company in South Korea

Jaehyun had asked Johnny before, how does he know that Taeil's his soulmate? When there's no sign to tell, there are no first words to each other that tattooed on each other's arms, Your hair color doesn't change when you touch your hands with your soulmate, then how the hell would you know if that certain person is meant to spend the rest of their life with you? 

Johnny's answer is pretty simple to understand but still, the wires on Jaehyun's head still doesn't get it

Johnny's answer was as simple as feeling that pull with each other even though it's the first time you laid your eyes at them, the silence between you ain't that uncomfortable silence that you wish the ground would just swallow you just so you don't have to deal with the awkward eerie sound between the two of you, it's like feeling each other's pain, it's the feeling of knowing their pain without the explanation from the other and that's what Johnny feel with Taeil. Spending years with the older, the love that once is one-sided from Johnny had told Jaehyun had grown deeper and now was shared and now they vow that they don't see their future without each other

Secondly, Sicheng and Yuta, that's pretty much self-explanatory but not as much Donghyuck and Mark. Sicheng and Yuta, from the start you really won't guess that they're soulmate, or maybe it looks like a one-sided kind of soulmate, Jaehyun at first doesn't know that such thing exists, how can you be soulmate with someone and yet the feelings aren't being reciprocated? Jaehyun considered it as second to the most painful things that could happen between you and your soulmate because that'll give a different kind of pain too, to not know whether someday, one day, they'll return your feelings too or forever be in that one-sided love that'll eventually lead to your soulmate leaving you, means you're gonna experience both pain of losing them and them not loving you 

But observing them, Jaehyun is glad that Yuta's not about to experience those things just because Sicheng is bad at feelings, Sicheng may not be able to show it physically but Jaehyun is sure that Yuta can feel it, how Sicheng is subtle looking out for him, how wherever Yuta is Sicheng is just closed by and almost like monitoring him, and that's how they know what way Sicheng is using to express his love for Yuta, meanwhile, Yuta is the exact opposite though, declaring his love for Sicheng any chance he can get, he'll become touchy with Sicheng and Sicheng only but the latter always brushed him off

That's why one night when Jaehyun found Yuta in their kitchen drinking beer Jaehyun knew something was wrong because Yuta's not the type to drink without any special occasions, that night he tells Jaehyun that maybe, even though Sicheng is his soulmate and he's Sicheng soulmate things would never work out the way Yuta wants to because Sicheng always looks like he's about to throw a fist anytime Yuta's being touchy with him and of course, being the helpful friend that Jaehyun is, even though Yuta had begged Jaehyun several times that night not to tell Sicheng, Jaehyun ended up telling the younger which leads them to Sicheng slowly accepting Yuta's touch of love to show how much Yuta had meant to him too 

And then there's Mark and Donghyuck, who out of the three is the most straightforward and unproblematic, even though meeting at such a young age, the two already know what's the meaning of soulmate is for them, at the young age not even reaching fifteen, they start off as best friends, not even having the feeling of the possibility of them being soulmates, they just feel like they don't want to be separated from each other as they grow older things were a lot more understandable for them, younger selves who thought knowing everything about soulmates are proven wrong, as they grew older they slowly realize the potential of them being soulmates, then they debut together still only considering the thought and not doing anything about it and then Donghyuck disappeared for almost a week that felt like years for Mark is when the older thinks about finally doing something about the mutual feeling they have, only the lack of courage that the other might not think the same way as the other's is thinking is what's hold them down.

Jaehyun remembers how the group's happiness at that time but Jaehyun still can't help the envious feeling he's feeling, he thinks about how lucky those two are to found the right person at such age, having to watch each other grow physically and as a person and how symmetrical those two's actions are now

And of course, Doyoung and Taeyong. Jaehyun's doubt about Taeyong being his soulmate was put to an end when Doyoung was added to the group with Taeyong immediately feeling the constant pull against Doyoung, Taeyong knew that Doyoung's the one he's gonna spend his lifetime with which fortunately what's Doyoung is thinking too, even meeting later than other's Taeyong and Doyoung are the one who understands each other the easiest and the fastest despite the constant bickering and fighting like they're cats and dogs they all can see how much they meant for each other and how they see each other going to nursing homes when they're old enough

If there's one thing that Jaehyun admire with the two of them is how they act strong in front of the other who's feeling low, every time Taeyong is feeling down and all blue, Doyoung would act like he's the strongest man and he's ready to protect Taeyong from anything evil in this world and so is Taeyong with Doyoung, with Doyoung being added to the group, Jaehyun can see the things that once Taeyong had done for him, he's doing it to Doyoung too and now with the assurance of them being fated together the hold Taeyong have on Doyoung's hand is much more gently and reassuring and the way he smiles to Doyoung is much warmer and loving

And Jaehyun can't help but to feel sad for himself, being the only one who still haven't found the supposed right person, he wonders if he has one or he's running out of time to meet them, Jaehyun even given up the thought of having to meet his soulmate one day, when the time is right and he's ready to know and fall for the person he's apparently stayed with for the rest of each other's life, Jaehyun had even given up on finding his soulmate and claimed that maybe he's one of those rare unlucky ones who are definitely not God's favorite that ended up not having a soulmate 

_It's 2018,_ When the three new members were introduced to them had Jaehyun started hoping to meet his soulmate again and when the second one introduces himself as Jungwoo, looking nervous with his soft voice quite shaking and the taller beside him rubbing his back to comfort him had caught Jaehyun's full attention not even realizing that he missed the third one's name because his focus was completely on Jungwoo who's standing straight and stiff and still looking nervous as hell did Jaehyun's heart skipped a beat with the hope of finally founding his soulmate 

And when Taeyong hit his side with his elbow had taken Jaehyun back to earth, and that's when he notices the man staring back at him too, maybe because of how Jaehyun is staring creepily at him or how Jaehyun is looking at him much longer to be considered as a friendly stare 

"Did you notice that you're staring too long? I could even consider it creepy if I didn't know you well, by the way, the third one's name is Xuxi or Yukhei or Lucas or whatever you wanna call him," Taeyong was probably going to explain on why he has three names but given up because he knows that Jaehyun is not interested anyway and rather interested with the man beside that one named Lucas 

_Lucas,_ That name probably annoyed Jaehyun more than it should, the young man had been sticking too much to Jungwoo much more than Jaehyun would like but that's definitely because those two trained together and probably knew each other more than they know themselves, Jaehyun can't help the stingy feeling that shivers in his arm when he watched the clip where Jungwoo had claimed that Lucas and he are a couple, and Jaehyun wonders if those two have a feeling that there's a possibility of them being soulmates but Jaehyun can't help but think because he felt that constant pull against Jungwoo too, the constant urge to talk to the other but not having the courage to. Jaehyun wonders if there's a possibility of your soulmate having another soulmate 

Jaehyun realizes that he likes to wonder a lot and not do things to make him stop wondering 

Jaehyun can't help but to always keep his eyes on Jungwoo who he just knew that's only one year younger than him and almost the same height as him but can look as tiny as he wants when he wanted too. The younger was also starting to loosen up a bit with the help of Lucas and as much as Jaehyun wanted to be the one to help him he can't help but feel like he's intruding every time he tried to go between them and Jaehyun thinks if there's really a possibility of Jungwoo being his soulmate, Jaehyun thinks if that constant pull he feels with the younger is enough to prove that they're the one who was meant to be 

"Is there a possibility of your soulmate having another soulmate that's not you?" 

Jaehyun was having a meal with the two oldest pair of soulmate in his group when he decided to voice out the thought that's been bothering him a lot more than he like. Jaehyun can't help but feel small against the stare of the four other men in the table, he can't help but feel pathetic that at the age of 21 he's still lost and finding that one person who'll complete him and that there's even a possibility of that one person having another one to complete them 

"I'd like to say yes but I would say no," Johnny, the one who knows the best about soulmates is the one that answered him and to be honest, Jaehyun kinda expected for him to be the one to answer with all the knowledge that he has about that kind of things 

"Why is that?" 

"I'd like to say yes because they can meet someone who's close to being their soulmate that they think he's the right one, they're gonna fall in love, see each other in the future, wanting to have a life on their own but still that's only a feeling close to meant to be, It's still not your soulmate, one day the other person will eventually found his right match and he'll feel so much more, much more intense than what he's feeling with the someone that's almost his soulmate, and the other person? he'll be the one who'll be left behind with nothing but the pain of the same thought of their soulmate having another soulmate not realizing that they have someone who's right for them too," Johnny pauses for a bit probably to take a breath and check if the other four is still listening 

"And I'd like to say no because even though having that person who's almost the one you will always found a way to come back for the one that was truly meant for you, even though how long it'll take even though how many people you'd meet in between and no matter how many heartbreaks you'd get at the end of those, your feet will find a way to come back to that one person who'll heal you and complete you," Johnny finishes with his soulmate clapping at him and Doyoung and Taeyong looking in-between of proud and shock 

"Who would have thought you could say things like that?" 

"Yah! My soulmate is smarter than yours!" 

"Now that's foul! take it back!" 

"What a way to ruin the mood babe!" 

Those bickerings don't reach Jaehyun's ear who's still lost in his thoughts, processing everything Johnny had said. Apparently, the teasing died down quickly when they notice that Jaehyun is still not looking well and is glued on his chair with his chopsticks creating a sound on his plate that the other would prolly found annoying if they're not to focus to Jaehyun's expression that looks scared and lost 

"It's about Jungwoo isn't it?" Taeyong's voice that erupted their silence is what reach Jaehyun's ears, with the mention of his name Jaehyun can immediately feel the discouragement in his bone. Jaehyun just stared blankly at Taeyong, but to the other four those stares holds so many words than Jaehyun can explain 

"You can feel it can you? Even the start, when he first officially introduces himself, when I caught you staring too long at him. You felt something did you?" Taeyong asked the younger, presumably wanting the younger to speak out his thought and not burden himself too much 

Jaehyun's words were trapped in his mouth like there's no voice that's coming out and all Jaehyun can do is nod like his parents have scolded him like a child, The four didn't answer probably not knowing what to say and probably waiting for Jaehyun to explain more 

"I don't know, I'm not sure. He and Lucas, they look—they do look like they're best friends but more and the way they look at each other, I feel like there's something deeper," Jaehyun definitely doesn't notice but the other four did, how small his voice came out, how down he looks for having the possibility that he's wrong again, that maybe Jungwoo really isn't his soulmate even though he wants to be him, He wants Jungwoo to be his soulmate

Eyes speak louder than your mouth can do, your eyes never lie like your mouth do. The other's notices that and notices how Jaehyun and Sicheng have the same way of showing their affection and love and how Yuta and Jungwoo are the same, being touchy and showing and saying his love any chance he can get, though the difference between them is Yuta being only touchy to his soulmate meanwhile Jungwoo is like that with all and Jaehyun doesn't know if it was all in his head but he feels like somehow, Jungwoo is treating him a little more special than he does with others 

The constant eye contact. Eye contacts, Johnny had noticed that between them when they're in the car doing a vlive back in 2018 the same night the three new members were officially announced and expose to the fans. Johnny was sitting in the back of the car and Jaehyun and Jungwoo were both in the middle did Johnny notices how Jaehyun tend to look at the younger a lot and to be honest, so is Jungwoo. The way they're looking at each other, Johnny knew that it's not only Jaehyun who can feel them having a connection deeper than just being members in the same group, and being friends or rather best friends. Johnny knew that with how Jungwoo is looking at Jaehyun the different way Jungwoo is looking at Lucas, how every time Jungwoo is looking at Jaehyun his eyes turn even more softer and you can see the overflowing love Jungwoo is ready to give the older and that's what Jaehyun failed to notice 

Being touchy with one another. Doyoung and Kun were the ones to notice that. The four of them are having a live and they put Jaehyun and Jungwoo in the middle, which they did to maybe help the other two realizes that it's not only them who can feel the special connection between Jungwoo and Jaehyun that they all can see it, even Lucas who Jaehyun had thought there's a possibility of him and Jungwoo 

It's almost 42 minutes long, throughout the video they've played different songs, other members had passed by to join the live for a quick minute. They're currently playing a song by Maroon 5 when Doyoung and Kun notice that almost the whole song Jaehyun and Jungwoo had done nothing but look at each other any time they want to, the subtle touches they did with each other's thighs and shoulders. 

That's the same live where Jaehyun concluded that maybe Jungwoo is feeling something between them too when Jungwoo, this time, announces that Lucas is his best friend

There's even a bonus part for Kun when the three of them decided to do another vlive before taking a plane going to Osaka, the video doesn't even reach 15 minutes and yet for those 15 minutes Kun feels like he's intruding a very special moment between soulmates, Jaehyun and Jungwoo being pressed again each other, the constant need to have the other's arm around the other's shoulder, the subtle flirting Jungwoo is showing Jaehyun and the way that every time Jaehyun will raise his hand to speak it'll always land on Jungwoo's knees or thighs 

Taeyong, even though he knew Jaehyun finds it hard to focus and maybe bad for his heart, Taeyong finds it funny on how the production team had coincidentally pair Lucas, Jungwoo, and Jaehyun for the trailer of Black on Black. Taeyong remember well how Jungwoo was supposed to be between them and that's the first time Jaehyun had made a move over Lucas and put a distance between the latter and Jungwoo and now with Jaehyun and Lucas standing beside each other, everyone in the room notices the tension between them, everyone but Jungwoo

And of course! SM's annual Halloween party, every member can notice the glint of happiness in Jaehyun's eyes that even the Dreamies tease him for when Jungwoo appear in their dance practice, they all can notice how Jaehyun's mouth was slightly open as he continues to stare at the newly entered member, with Jaehyun not saying anything, Jungwoo thought that he looks ridiculous and ugly and that he even says sorry for Jaehyun but the older immediately cuts him off, stuttering a 'he looks so beautiful' that Jaehyun doesn't know what to say more because Jungwoo just looks so beautiful, Jungwoo had always look beautiful but Jaehyun must admit, the Jungwoo looks the most beautiful when he's in Jaehyun's arm 

_It was 2019,_ When Jungwoo lost his almost soulmate, with the debut of WayV, Lucas has to leave and with the addition of Jungwoo in 127, the younger grew closer to Jaehyun faster than male is expecting. Jaehyun feels guilty about how relief he is when he heard that they'll debut another group in China and Lucas being half Chinese and half Thai of course, is included in the lineup. Though the hard part is for Yuta and Sicheng, with the latter being Chinese, he too is included but the male had assured Yuta that he'll come back any chance he can get and even though debuting as a Chinese group they'll still probably stay in Korea even though living farther than they both want at least they're not ocean apart 

And now with Jungwoo being added to 127, flowers and hope start to blossom again in Jaehyun's chest and eyes. 

Jaehyun was there when the younger first introduces himself as a part of NCT 127, Jaehyun was there when it's Jungwoo's first appearance on idol week he can even remember how shy the younger get when Jaehyun said that Jungwoo feels comfortable with him and Jaehyun wonders if his statement is wrong and Jungwoo isn't comfortable with him or because the other members, no, everyone in the room have a different meaning to what Jaehyun had said that's why the younger gets shy 

Jaehyun had started doing the same thing Taeyong had done to Doyoung. He always tries to appear stronger in front of Jungwoo, always reassured the younger that he's doing the best and Jaehyun felt the proudest for him because he can see how hardworking Jungwoo is and how everything that Jungwoo have now is because of his innumerable talent and charms that he keeps showing to the fans 

Jaehyun was there seating on the floor while above him Jungwoo was seating on the long couch with Taeil beside him when Jungwoo cried when they got an award for their comeback, Jaehyun even tried to hold the younger's hands but the same time Jaehyun's hand landed with Jungwoo hands on his thigh Jungwoo had raised his hand to wipe his tears and that's how Jaehyun ended up just giving the younger tissues to wipe his tears 

Jaehyun was there seating beside Jungwoo when Jungwoo said that he feels like he doesn't deserve to be in the unit when even some fans told him that and Jaehyun at that moment can't say anything because he can feel the younger's heart clenching with pain at the confession and maybe a realization that some fans doesn't really want him to be in the unit and with that Jaehyun feels twice the pain that Jungwoo is feeling 

_It was also 2019,_ When Jaehyun thought he lose his soulmate. That vlive resorts to Jungwoo taking a break for almost 8 months and Jaehyun having this fear within him that there's a possibility of Jungwoo not coming back, having the fear of the possibility he won't ever see Jungwoo again and the fear of not being with his soulmate, the one by now, he loves more than he loves himself and having the fear of going through the most painful thing you can feel as soulmates, separation

Those 8 months are the worst month in Jaehyun's life, everyone tried to console him and assured him that Jungwoo will be back, Jungwoo will be back in his arms and will never ever leave Jaehyun again

But now with them moving to their new dorm and Jaehyun having Jungwoo as his roommate even though the younger is still not with them, the loneliness that comes with Jungwoo's temporary withdrawal from the group's activity had grown deeper and deeper, that even Jungwoo on the other side of Seoul can feel the longing for Jaehyun as much as Jaehyun felt the longing for Jungwoo too

And Jaehyun promises to himself that in Jungwoo's comeback, he'll finally say everything that he's feeling and finally claim the younger male as his soulmate 

_It was 2020,_ When Jaehyun felt the happiest with Jungwoo coming back to them and him sharing a room with Jungwoo, Jaehyun can feel that all the time he lost with the younger not being with him is now paying back at him 

Jaehyun tried to be on the younger's side most of the time, Yuta even teasing him to let Jungwoo breathe out of his company and Jaehyun saying never, and he'll never let Jungwoo out of his sight again for that long that earns him with the beautiful sight of Jungwoo blushing like there's no tomorrow 

It was Kick it era when Jaehyun notices that with Jungwoo's comeback the latter ain't as touchy and as showy with his love as much as before and that made Jaehyun tried to express his feelings more the same way Jungwoo does before. Jungwoo is still his usual self but with much more confidence and self-love that added more to his beauty and Jaehyun never felt any prouder to have Jungwoo back again by his side, and by his embrace knowing that Jungwoo is feeling better now, better than anything 

The four of them were doing a relay vlive, the first one who appears on screen is Jungwoo, sitting right across the camera doing what he's supposed to do, eating his food. Jaehyun who was waiting for his turn behind the camera can't help but fully admire the younger, ever since the younger came back, the younger looks happier and healthier. 

Jungwoo's cheeks were now fuller than before, every night pressing against his pillow every time he turns to his side that on many times Jaehyun comes inside and the younger's already asleep feeling exhausted by all their schedule that day and Jaehyun sacrificing his time to bath just for the younger to take it and maybe have a little more rest after that. Jaehyun had always, always find himself staring at the younger's cheeks fighting the urge to pinch it or sometimes even kiss it. Every night they spend together, the feeling of them being soulmate had only gotten stronger that at this point if it turns out to be wrong, the pain will surely kill them both 

With the promotion of Kick it coming to an end, they immediately start to prepare for their repackage comeback this upcoming May 

Jungwoo and Jaehyun alongside Johnny and Doyoung were tasked to do a vlive that talks about their new song Punch that will be released soon. Johnny and Doyoung are sitting between the two and both of them notices how almost every second Jaehyun will either lean backward or forward just to glance at the younger and Jungwoo doing the same every minute, Johnny notices too how Jaehyun slung his arm at the back of the couch successfully hiding it from the camera and then minutes later Jungwoo doing the same and Johnny can feel the both of them holding hands from the back and when Johnny leans forward to match Doyoung's current position both of them immediately let go but both of them making it more obvious when they look like they're mirroring each other's actions and from how many times they're staring at each other and from the actions that look simple yet they look like there's some hidden meaning between the two. Johnny and Doyoung notice the amount of times whenever Jaehyun or Jungwoo is holding his ear the other will straight away do the same

_Is that some kind of sign between them that only Jaehyun and Jungwoo can understand?_

Things were going on smoothly until before their repackage comeback 

Jaehyun was laying down in the bed feeling exhausted after everything that happened that day, after writing a letter hoping to show his deepest apologies to the disappointed fans when Jungwoo enters the room, holding something in his hand that Jaehyun concluded to be food from how good it smells

Jaehyun watched the younger walks over the shared desk they have in their small room before deciding to sit up the same time the younger turned around to face him 

"I cook something for you Hyung, you should eat." Jungwoo's soft voice is enough to ease Jaehyun's worries 

It's only ramen and some pork on the side but Jaehyun feels like he's eating a buffet, having Jungwoo to cook for you is a rare time since some still don't trust Jungwoo from cooking but when it comes to ramen, Jungwoo is the matter at that. Jaehyun had even said that one time in an interview while promoting Kick It

Jaehyun sits next to the younger, taking the chopsticks that the younger is offering, to be honest, Jaehyun is not hungry, he doesn't have the appetite to eat and all he wants to do is rest and maybe he can convince Jungwoo to come and cuddle him If Jaehyun has the courage to ask him that but after taking a bite on his food is when Jaehyun realizes how hungry he is

Jungwoo was suspiciously quiet beside him and Jaehyun is afraid that even though the younger had brought him food, the younger was actually mad 

"Are you mad at me Jungwoo?" Jaehyun gained up all the courage that's left in him to ask the younger a question he knew the answer will hurt 

Jungwoo slowly looks up at him from where he's looking down at his phone watching muted youtube videos to remain the silence and calm in the room.

Jungwoo stared at the older a lot more time than the older wants, the longer the younger just stared at him and said nothing the more anxious Jaehyun is 

"I'm not," Jungwoo let out a sigh and so is Jaehyun "But I'm disappointed, you could have told me or someone else so we wouldn't be lost when the news drop. But that doesn't make me love you any less," 

Jaehyun blinked, twice, thrice, until Jungwoo's words synced into him. He doesn't know how long the silence is between them but all Jaehyun can hear is each other's heartbeat until Jungwoo speaks again 

"I hope you're feeling the same way too," _Same way,_ Jaehyun isn't sure if it' the soulmate thing or the love Jungwoo confessed but either way Jaehyun felt the same way 

"I do," Jaehyun whispers "I would really hope so," Jungwoo doesn't sound convinced 

" _Back in 2018,_ When we first met and I caught you staring at me, I felt something I didn't felt before, It's like suddenly I'm complete and found the perfect fit for me but then I started to think otherwise when you started to look like you don't want to be with me, when you started talking to me less and less and when you stopped comforting me whenever I cry," 

"But then, when I was added into this group, I feel so much closer to you that every day I have this fear of us not being soulmates and not having a chance, I constantly try to show my affection to everyone even though I must admit that I treated you a little bit more special than others because I'm afraid—I'm afraid that if I attached myself to you only, It'll be hard for me to let go when you found that someone who will complete you. But then I just can't help but hope and hope that you have this feeling of wanting me as your soulmate as much as I want you to be. I can't help but hope every time you treated me like how Taeyong and Doyoung Hyung are treating each other and it makes me warm and cozy inside but there's still the fear in his chest," Jungwoo stops to take a breath and finally gathering up the courage to fully turned his chair at the older 

"And when I left, for those 8 months I keep longing for you, that even though all I do all day is lay down and take a rest, I wasn't really taking a rest. I was still overthinking because there's always something here in me that tells me that you are definitely my soulmate and that you can feel everything I've been feeling too but then if you really think like that too Why did you never once tried to talk to me about it? Why did you never say anything about it to me?" Jaehyun now regrets not saying anything about this from the start and now the younger is doubting that they're meant for each other when both of them felt the same thing even from the start, even when they didn't know each other that well, and they just feel, trusting their instincts that say they're meant to be forever 

"But then when I came back and you gave me the warmest hug, We grew even closer to each other, you're not afraid to hold my hands on cam now, we even have a secret way of telling each other what we think about at the current moment, we can even read each other through our eyes but then I can't read anything in your eyes that will lead us to this then I realized that I need to talk to you about this so if it doesn't work out it'll hurt a little bit less than when I'm fully deeply in love and convince you're my soulmate but I never found the right moment and even now I know isn't the right moment but I feel like I'm running out of time and if I don't tell you now, I'll never have the chance to talk to you about this," Jungwoo stands up, making Jaehyun panic on the inside but still not doing anything and rather looking up at the younger 

"And I'm sorry—I'm sorry for telling you right now I know you have a lot in mind and saying this to you only added to that, You probably wouldn't want to talk to me after this, that after you showing nothing but kindness and love, I misinterpreted that with something being deeper and even assuming we are soulmates." Jaehyun grabs the younger's wrist before the younger can even take a step away from him 

Jaehyun felt guilty. He's too focused on his feelings and his thoughts that he disregarded what Jungwoo thinks, what Jungwoo feels. He's too focused on figuring out everything on his own that he forgets that he needed to include Jungwoo too because he's been feeling this thing about him and feelings should be discussed with the one you're feeling it with and yet he fails to do that 

Maybe that's the reason why Jaehyun met his soulmate late, No, Maybe that's the reason why even though knowing each other long enough now, it still took him some time to figure out who his soulmate really is without having a doubt because Jaehyun is still selfish, Jaehyun is still only thinking about himself and not the two of them

"I...I feel— I feel the exact same way too," Jaehyun's throat had never felt so dry before and Jaehyun had never felt so embarrassed as he is right now, he can't believe that him thinking about those things for a whole 2 years and yet he still isn't able to tell it to Jungwoo without the other being the first one to tell him about it first 

"I'm sorry if I never made that clear, Jungwoo." The older pull the younger to his lap craving for some kind of intimacy after having both of them endured that kind of thoughts for the past years 

"I'm sorry if you have to think that way just because I'm being dumb and instead of being straightforward and confronting you about it, I only focus on what I feel that I ignored the part where you can get confused to my actions too," Jaehyun has so many things to be sorry for, but he can't elaborate everything if he chooses to, there's probably no end to that "I'm sorry for making you feel like that, for making you confused and assumed that I didn't want you to be mine," 

Jaehyun caresses the younger's cheeks, been wanting to do that since forever and now he finally has the chance, he'll not lose it this time

"But I want you to, I want you to be the other one that completes me too, I want you to be the one I'd spend the rest of my tears and smiles and the rest of the lives I have," Jaehyun fully cups Jungwoo's cheeks and now having the courage to finally look at the younger's eyes, holding emotions and feelings that no one would be able to explain and see than Jaehyun and Jungwoo 

"And I'm sorry if I never made it clear," Jungwoo shushed him, pressing his forehead against the older 

"Don't say sorry, It must be hard for you too," Jaehyun was the first one to press a chaste lips against the younger's lips, pressing Jungwoo a little more closer to him from where the younger is still seated in his lap arms around his neck

That night even though having many things to worry about, Jaehyun felt at peace because even though having the whole world against him, Jungwoo was now on his side and he'll never leave Jaehyun again 

And that's where Jaehyun belongs, with his _soulmate_ in his arms, heart not as heavy as it is earlier because he knew that now, even though is everything messy around them, Jungwoo is there by his side to help him fix it and now he got to have Jungwoo forever too 

_It's 2020,_ When everything falls right into place for Jaehyun and he's no longer a step away but rather a step closer to Jungwoo. And Jungwoo who falls right into Jaehyun's arm looking as beautiful and precious as ever and now Jaehyun doesn't doubt about everything anymore and he can proudly say that _Jungwoo_ is his _soulmate,_ and only his

**Author's Note:**

> Did you guys like it? It's been long since my last fic, hope you guys enjoyed it😗  
> 


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